Labour Party hopeful Alex Wood pooped himself in supermarket aisle

In continuation from my earlier article written about the Jewry behind Tesco, I wanted to expand on the story regarding Alex Wood who actually soiled himself tesco in an aisle of Tesco.

Alex Wood during his UKIP days

Alex Wood during his UKIP days

After Alex had been the center of a media-storm regarding the now infamous “Nazi salute” fiasco (Which turned out to genuinely be him reaching for a phone) Alex took to alcohol and found a great deal of comfort in the bottle. Intending to still contest the Blackmoor Vale seat for UKIP, Alex and myself would meet up frequently and enjoy a beer or two and I would advise on his campaign.

Now, this is before Alex had come out as a Jew and he was a good friend of mine at the time but after a night out in Yeovil, Alex decided he wanted to go to Tesco in order to get some food. I, who have not entered Tesco since about 2008, remained outside with my friend Thomas and we awaited Alex’s return.

Alex Wood today

Alex Wood today

What followed next was perhaps the single most hilarious incident I have ever witnessed in my life.

Alex who was clearly paralytic from extreme alcohol poisoning, approached a flower stand near the entrance of Tesco where he began to EAT flower-heads (tulips from what I could see) in front of the security staff who were cautiously watching Wood.

Alex Wood in 2015

Alex Wood in 2015, still an alcoholic

Next our prospective Jewish UKIP candidate embarked on a rampage around the Tesco supermarket in Yeovil, closely followed by Security who eventually lost him when he reached the dog food aisle. As myself and Thomas watched, Alex pulled down his trousers to his ankles and then crouched over the floor in Tesco. We were watching from a distance but clearly Alex Wood pooed on the floor of Tesco before actually SITTING DOWN in it and sliding back and forth, in a rowing fashion as if to smear the excrement into the floor in a streak-like pattern.

Alex Wood then laid down in a pool of what looked to be excrement as the store security rushed towards him before they dragged him out of Tesco. Alex with his trousers around his ankles and human excrement spread all over his morning suit, crawled off the Tesco forecourt and started sobbing to himself in the corner.

Alex Wood UKIP

Alex Wood Today

Suffice to say, UKIP’s Alex Wood didn’t win the seat he was standing for and then soon after was kicked out of the party and became a Marxist (Seriously). The moral of the story is, this is an insight into the Marxist mind.

Joshua Bonehill

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